I was rather irate when the came into class. It wasn't their fault, so I tried not to make a big deal out of it, but it didn't take them very long to notice that something was different. They were pretty curious, but after I assured them that they were not the target of my anger, most of them were satisfied. Brian, however, wanted some further clarification.
Brian: Miss, did someone accuse you of being a pagan?
Me: No
Brian: Good. Because that would be really insulting!
That made me giggle. Then we had a pretty good class on the Civil War.
28 January 2010
22 January 2010
Pets
I do not have pets. I am not sad about this. I am not anti-animal, but I am decidedly anti-indoor-pet for two reasons:
1. The amount of red hair around the house is more than sufficient. I see no need to add animal hair to the mix.
2. Animals have a distinctive smell that does not belong in my house. If I want to smell animals, I will go to the zoo.
The Texan is much less anti-pet, therefore we have a fish tank. I do not clean the fish tank, I do not feed the fish, and if I ever start to smell fish in the house the tank will disappear. Under these conditions, I actually kind of like the fish tank. In the early days of the fish tank the Texan named a fish, but it died less than an hour later. Now we keep nameless fish. Currently we have ten. One of these fish is a jerk. I refer to him as the mean fish. He is territorial and aggressive and has managed to restrict the other nine fish to a small corner of the tank. The mean fish has intimidated one particular fish to the point that it was unable to come out of its hiding place and eat for several days in a row.
One day as the Texan was feeding his fish, the frightened fish finally emerged and tried to eat, but the mean fish quickly chased it back under a rock. The Texan was tired of this selfishness, and decided it was time for action. He took the mean fish out of the tank and put him in a bucket on the floor for a few minutes. I came home a few hours later to find all ten fish happily swimming throughout the entire tank. When I asked the Texan about this fishy behavior he proudly explained that he had taught the mean fish to be nice by putting him in time out.
1. The amount of red hair around the house is more than sufficient. I see no need to add animal hair to the mix.
2. Animals have a distinctive smell that does not belong in my house. If I want to smell animals, I will go to the zoo.
The Texan is much less anti-pet, therefore we have a fish tank. I do not clean the fish tank, I do not feed the fish, and if I ever start to smell fish in the house the tank will disappear. Under these conditions, I actually kind of like the fish tank. In the early days of the fish tank the Texan named a fish, but it died less than an hour later. Now we keep nameless fish. Currently we have ten. One of these fish is a jerk. I refer to him as the mean fish. He is territorial and aggressive and has managed to restrict the other nine fish to a small corner of the tank. The mean fish has intimidated one particular fish to the point that it was unable to come out of its hiding place and eat for several days in a row.
One day as the Texan was feeding his fish, the frightened fish finally emerged and tried to eat, but the mean fish quickly chased it back under a rock. The Texan was tired of this selfishness, and decided it was time for action. He took the mean fish out of the tank and put him in a bucket on the floor for a few minutes. I came home a few hours later to find all ten fish happily swimming throughout the entire tank. When I asked the Texan about this fishy behavior he proudly explained that he had taught the mean fish to be nice by putting him in time out.
10 January 2010
What Would Jesus Do?
On Sundays I teach the 5 and 6 year olds. I have been doing this since April, and was a little nervous about it at first, but it turns out that they are remarkably similar to the high school kids. Today's lesson was titled "I can choose the right." First we played follow the leader. Then I asked the kids how to follow Jesus. Kaitlyn answered, "You do what he would do and not things that mean and grumpy people do." I felt good about that answer and told the kids that they could ask themselves what Jesus would want them to do, and then do it. A few minutes later Will interrupted me:
Will: Teacher, there is something black on that chair next to you. It's gross.
Me: You're right. That's why I decided not to sit in that chair.
Will: Do you know what Jesus would want us to do?
Me: What?
Will: He would want us to try to clean it off so that His church isn't dirty.
Me: I think you're right.
So we found a wet paper towel and cleaned the chair.
Will: Teacher, there is something black on that chair next to you. It's gross.
Me: You're right. That's why I decided not to sit in that chair.
Will: Do you know what Jesus would want us to do?
Me: What?
Will: He would want us to try to clean it off so that His church isn't dirty.
Me: I think you're right.
So we found a wet paper towel and cleaned the chair.
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