I should not try to teach tenth grade while under the influence of cold medicine. That's what sick days are for.
I'm sure there is a funny story that should go here. I honestly don't remember most of what happened today. But I'm certain that my kids have some excellent stories for their friends.
21 January 2009
19 January 2009
Happy Martin Luther King Jr Day
I would like it noted that the world is a better place when one is wearing dry socks. Seriously, go test it out. The next time it is raining go run some outside errand: check the mail, get something out of the car, get the newspaper, or leave cookies on the neighbors porch. Then come back inside and replace the soggy sock with dry ones. Instantly the world transforms into a much more magical, cheerful, happy place. Hooray for dry socks!
This theory can also be tested by walking into the kitchen or bathroom in stocking feet and inadvertently stepping in a puddle.
This theory can also be tested by walking into the kitchen or bathroom in stocking feet and inadvertently stepping in a puddle.
16 January 2009
Homework Policy
My school has policies and paperwork for everything. The new principal has decreed that we cannot even get a roll of tape without filling out a form and getting approval of the department chair and an administrator. In order to get new tape I have to explain how the use of this resource will help improve student performance, write a proposal, and get it signed twice. Next year she might require it to be notarized as well. I think she has a goal to keep us from teaching. Instead we spend all of our time filling out forms. Forms to get copies made, forms to get a red pen, forms to get materials from the library, forms to get a new box of paper clips, forms to fill out if you are late for work, forms to fill out if you are on time for work, forms for failing a student, forms for getting new forms... (I'm not even exaggerating for the sake of making the point. She really makes us fill out forms to get new forms.)
In an unprecedented event, the principal decided to share her policy making power. She declared that each department needed to have an official homework policy in writing, and she would even let us come up with it on our own. My department chair did what she always does when we get a new assignment from the principal: she gave it to me to do.
I decided not to reinvent the wheel and just write out the policy that I have been using for the last three years. I arrived at this homework philosophy through much thought, contemplation, and research. I have found that it serves me (and the kids) quite well:
They don't want to do it, I don't want to grade it, at the end of the semester they all have to be passing anyway, so I usually just don't give it.
After I typed that out I decided that the principal probably wouldn't approve this policy, so I translated it into more education friendly terms that she could relate to:
Homework grades will be given for assignments that extend and reinforce daily work and help students prepare for formal assessments.
So far she hasn't noticed that this policy in no way requires me to assign homework on a regular basis.
In an unprecedented event, the principal decided to share her policy making power. She declared that each department needed to have an official homework policy in writing, and she would even let us come up with it on our own. My department chair did what she always does when we get a new assignment from the principal: she gave it to me to do.
I decided not to reinvent the wheel and just write out the policy that I have been using for the last three years. I arrived at this homework philosophy through much thought, contemplation, and research. I have found that it serves me (and the kids) quite well:
They don't want to do it, I don't want to grade it, at the end of the semester they all have to be passing anyway, so I usually just don't give it.
After I typed that out I decided that the principal probably wouldn't approve this policy, so I translated it into more education friendly terms that she could relate to:
Homework grades will be given for assignments that extend and reinforce daily work and help students prepare for formal assessments.
So far she hasn't noticed that this policy in no way requires me to assign homework on a regular basis.
13 January 2009
Inquiring Minds
My professors in college painted an interesting picture of teaching. They told us that it was our commission to quench the thirst for information in youth. I assumed that this vision of imparting valuable knowledge to the rising generation was a rather idealistic view of education, but it turns out they were at least partially correct. 10th graders are remarkably inquisitive. I’m certain I answer hundreds of questions a week. I have collected some of my favorites:
Lesson on the Magna Carta
Student: Miss*, do you got a husband?
Me: No
Student: Do you got a boyfriend?
Me: No (This was in the days before I met the Texan)
Student: Miss, do you have any friends that play halo?
Lesson on the American Revolution
Miss, if Mexico and Honduras went to war who would win?
Lesson on the Columbian Exchange
Miss, in real life if you break out of prison can they shoot at you?
Lesson on Greek Mythology
Miss, Does God have a mom?
Lesson on the fall of the Roman Empire
Miss, what do you do when someone really ugly tries to talk to you?
Lesson on the Civil War
Miss, if you were black would that bruise on your leg look as bad?
Lesson on the Scientific Revolution
Miss, have you ever liked Mexican food?
Lesson on the French Revolution
Miss, if we build a Guillotine who could we kill first?
Lesson on the Incan Empire (specifically terraced farming)
Miss, why do they call suicide bombers terrorists. That don’t got nothing to do with farming?
*The kids really do just call me miss. I used to think they would eventually learn that I have a name. I have since changed my mind.
Lesson on the Magna Carta
Student: Miss*, do you got a husband?
Me: No
Student: Do you got a boyfriend?
Me: No (This was in the days before I met the Texan)
Student: Miss, do you have any friends that play halo?
Lesson on the American Revolution
Miss, if Mexico and Honduras went to war who would win?
Lesson on the Columbian Exchange
Miss, in real life if you break out of prison can they shoot at you?
Lesson on Greek Mythology
Miss, Does God have a mom?
Lesson on the fall of the Roman Empire
Miss, what do you do when someone really ugly tries to talk to you?
Lesson on the Civil War
Miss, if you were black would that bruise on your leg look as bad?
Lesson on the Scientific Revolution
Miss, have you ever liked Mexican food?
Lesson on the French Revolution
Miss, if we build a Guillotine who could we kill first?
Lesson on the Incan Empire (specifically terraced farming)
Miss, why do they call suicide bombers terrorists. That don’t got nothing to do with farming?
*The kids really do just call me miss. I used to think they would eventually learn that I have a name. I have since changed my mind.
22 December 2008
A New Holiday
My brother is a very witty man. The other day he left me one of the funniest messages I have ever heard: “Hello Red Head. I was just calling to celebrate the miracle of modern communication. If you feel inclined to also celebrate call me back.” It made me laugh for a very long time.
As a somewhat nerdy World History teacher I think he really is on to something here. The list of modern miracles that deserve celebration is really quite long: Automobiles, vaccinations, iPods, movies, Harry Potter books, LED lights, Global Positioning Systems, elevators, soft sheets, electricity…Really the list is endless. We have a lot more to celebrate than the ancient Sumerians. Good thing our calendar has more days in it.
After a really long, intense, exhausting, and high-stress day I feel that it would be appropriate to celebrate a convenience of the modern industrialized world that is frequently overlooked: A hot shower. The powers of appropriate water pressure, a hot water heater, some well placed tile, and a shower head combine to make the world a better place. Seriously, I think the course of human history might have been altered if Napoleon had been able to take a hot shower while deciding to invade Russia.
I declare today hot shower day.
As a somewhat nerdy World History teacher I think he really is on to something here. The list of modern miracles that deserve celebration is really quite long: Automobiles, vaccinations, iPods, movies, Harry Potter books, LED lights, Global Positioning Systems, elevators, soft sheets, electricity…Really the list is endless. We have a lot more to celebrate than the ancient Sumerians. Good thing our calendar has more days in it.
After a really long, intense, exhausting, and high-stress day I feel that it would be appropriate to celebrate a convenience of the modern industrialized world that is frequently overlooked: A hot shower. The powers of appropriate water pressure, a hot water heater, some well placed tile, and a shower head combine to make the world a better place. Seriously, I think the course of human history might have been altered if Napoleon had been able to take a hot shower while deciding to invade Russia.
I declare today hot shower day.
15 December 2008
Happy Birthday Dad
My dad is pretty cool. Today is his birthday. Here is a song that I discovered when I was a missionary that reminds me of my dad. I wish I could say that I wrote it, but all I can honestly say is that I like it. Happy birthday dad. I hope you have a great day
13 December 2008
Kitchen Mysteries
I am not particularly fond of bananas. It’s basically a texture thing. They feel weird in my mouth. And they smell funny too. Thus, having offended two of my five senses, bananas are not on the list of my favorite foods. Sometimes I can appreciate a good banana with some peanut butter on it, but that makes it a different food entirely, so that doesn’t count.
One day I came home to discover no fewer than 10 bananas on our kitchen counter. I was rather confused as to how we acquired so many bananas, but had no intention of participating in the consumption of this fruit. Instead I ate an apple. A few days later, as I made my way to the kitchen in search of breakfast, I was greeted by the smell of old bananas. I discovered that our kitchen counter was still home to 8 bananas is varying stages of over-ripe. Clearly it was time for action. My first inclination was to take all 8 blackened fruits and deposit them in the trash can. However, more productive thoughts prevailed and I pulled out my Harry Potter apron and set out to make some banana bread for my visiting teachees. In short order I had enough batter to bake 3 loaves of banana bread. This was perfect because there are three girls that I visit teach. However, I could only locate two bread pans in the cupboard.
As I was greasing these pans and deciding what to do with the rest of the batter I suddenly realized that the pans I was using did not belong to me. This brought a ray of hope to my predicament. I remembered that a few years ago, when I was still living in Provo, I made a goal to learn to make really good bread. As part of that goal I purchased some bread pans. If the pans currently in the cupboard did not belong to me that meant that I had more pans somewhere else. The most likely somewhere else was in the very back corner of the storage closet. I put two loaves of bread in the oven and then went to the closet to begin the excavation process.
After extracting 3 suitcases, a bike rack, and a box of Christmas decorations, I finally happened upon the box labeled “kitchen.” I opened it up to discover some silverware, two blue plastic plates that I do not remember ever owning, a few glasses, and, much to my delight, a bread pan. One pan was just what I needed, but I figured if I was going to release one pan from storage into the kitchen I might as well liberate the set. I emptied the rest of the box in search of the second bread pan. I discovered many cups, some bowls, a cheese grater, and a pitcher, but not a second bread pan. I know that I had two. No one makes just one loaf of bread. I don’t think a recipe exists for a single loaf. It makes no sense to have just one bread pan, and I am certain that I bought two. So I went back to the storage closet. Behind some camping chairs and sleeping bags I found a second box labeled “kitchen.” I unloaded its contents and discovered a glass 9x13 pan, some plates that probably belong to Justin, my favorite dishtowels, and a waffle iron, but no bread pan. I am quite perplexed by this lack of a second pan. It makes absolutely no sense. Where does a bread pan disappear to? I’m not sure, but this baffling mystery remains, to date, unsolved.
One day I came home to discover no fewer than 10 bananas on our kitchen counter. I was rather confused as to how we acquired so many bananas, but had no intention of participating in the consumption of this fruit. Instead I ate an apple. A few days later, as I made my way to the kitchen in search of breakfast, I was greeted by the smell of old bananas. I discovered that our kitchen counter was still home to 8 bananas is varying stages of over-ripe. Clearly it was time for action. My first inclination was to take all 8 blackened fruits and deposit them in the trash can. However, more productive thoughts prevailed and I pulled out my Harry Potter apron and set out to make some banana bread for my visiting teachees. In short order I had enough batter to bake 3 loaves of banana bread. This was perfect because there are three girls that I visit teach. However, I could only locate two bread pans in the cupboard.
As I was greasing these pans and deciding what to do with the rest of the batter I suddenly realized that the pans I was using did not belong to me. This brought a ray of hope to my predicament. I remembered that a few years ago, when I was still living in Provo, I made a goal to learn to make really good bread. As part of that goal I purchased some bread pans. If the pans currently in the cupboard did not belong to me that meant that I had more pans somewhere else. The most likely somewhere else was in the very back corner of the storage closet. I put two loaves of bread in the oven and then went to the closet to begin the excavation process.
After extracting 3 suitcases, a bike rack, and a box of Christmas decorations, I finally happened upon the box labeled “kitchen.” I opened it up to discover some silverware, two blue plastic plates that I do not remember ever owning, a few glasses, and, much to my delight, a bread pan. One pan was just what I needed, but I figured if I was going to release one pan from storage into the kitchen I might as well liberate the set. I emptied the rest of the box in search of the second bread pan. I discovered many cups, some bowls, a cheese grater, and a pitcher, but not a second bread pan. I know that I had two. No one makes just one loaf of bread. I don’t think a recipe exists for a single loaf. It makes no sense to have just one bread pan, and I am certain that I bought two. So I went back to the storage closet. Behind some camping chairs and sleeping bags I found a second box labeled “kitchen.” I unloaded its contents and discovered a glass 9x13 pan, some plates that probably belong to Justin, my favorite dishtowels, and a waffle iron, but no bread pan. I am quite perplexed by this lack of a second pan. It makes absolutely no sense. Where does a bread pan disappear to? I’m not sure, but this baffling mystery remains, to date, unsolved.
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